Dual Tone

My grandfather died over the summer. I've avoided making this post because I wanted to write so much, yet so little. I knew he was dying, and yet the knowledge of his death shocked me to the core. He had a brave, full life and was well-taken care of at his end. I got to see him, one last time before he passed. I wish I had seen him more. Regrets are those things in life that can never be experienced again, no matter what you do. I was overwhelmed by eternity and the existence-less of a life that had once burned so brightly. How do you name or contain grief? It shivers in your bones and seeps through the cracks in little slivers of tears in the most ordinary of moments. Driving my car, walking down a grocery aisle, talking to a customer at work; during all these small mundane tasks, I suddenly would be swept away by the knowledge that somebody I loved was dead. I will not forget you! my mind cried, I will never let your memory be vanquished!

And yet. Here I was putting on pretty dresses and wearing pretty things, continuing on with my own little chores and work and school, as if nothing had changed. And maybe that's the crux of the matter; you think the world will change, that life itself will change, but maybe only you really change. Maybe it's only inwardly that your soul cries out in anguish, but the sun still rises and sets, and the earth still turns, and the people still walk by. I am not an expert on death, and I certainly hope not to be. Neither do I think death is a part of life, but rather a loss, a void of previous existence. But I can still enjoy the sweetness and brightness of the world and do my best not to languish in despair. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comeths in the morning" Psalm 30:5b. This summer was a long night of weeping, but joy has returned, and tomorrow is a new morning.

Dress - thrifted

Earrings - World Market

<3 The Magpie

Soft Focus

One of my favorite things about this outfit was the spontaneous nature of it; I just threw stuff together, thinking it would look good together and it turned out fantastic. I love when that happens; it's like taking a random snapshot and having it turn out to be your favorite photograph.The shirt and skirt are little floaty things grounded by the brown wrap-around belt and battered moccasins I found in a thrift. Notice the faint hint of aquamarine at my earlobes. The earrings seemed to flow, so I threw that color in without a second thought. The day I wore this outfit, I also was playing around with a soft-focus lens the tech guy at my school loaned me and it was AMAZING. I wanted to put some soft-lens photos up in the post, but I couldn't find the right album when I uploaded these outfit pics, and I really want to write a post, so I'll have to do it some other time. I waver between pumping out lots of posts and feeling proud that I'm on a roll, and then forgetting I even have a blog. It's kind of fun honestly! It is a bit as thrown together as my life, but I enjoy it. That hab-scrabble nature defines my personality and sometimes my outfits, obviously as shown. :)

I have found in the past that dark brown and grays are my neutrals. I never would have picked brown as a favorite color, nor gray for that matter, but for a seriously long period of my young life, I kept gravitating towards earthy browns to contrast my main colors, usually were usually green or blue. I started using grays halfway through that phase, and both colors have been in heavy rotation in my wardrobe since. Some people use black and white as neutrals, but I use browns and grays. It's interesting how people use and think of colors so differently. Colors and the perception of colors are one of the most intriguing facets of dressing, and I have found it to be a continual subject of interest for me. I try not to talk about it haphazardly, but when I finally do, people are surprised at how deeply I think about my outfits. It's all a collection of ideas and concepts worn on a body as a visual piece for the day, a continual shifting parade of mind meeting art. Anyways, I do try not to overwhelm people. It's a little much to tell a near-stranger that your clothes were inspired by the voices of the colors that speak to you. ;)

Shirt, skirt, belt, boots - thrifted

Earring - World Market

Hat - Target

<3 The Magpie